Go get some butter-flavored Pam. It HAS to be Pam. It also HAS to be butter-flavored. After you've been running the LittleBigPlanet DLC screen (it wont work with any other game) for exactly 2 hours and 7 minutes, go ahead and spray your PS3 with the Pam. Place two pieces of bread on the PS3, put two slices of cheese on them, and then quickly search the DLC for a level called "The Waffle Room". You must complete it in 10 minutes, or else you must start over. Take a polaroid photograph of the results screen and put it in the sandwich. You now have a polaroid sandwich. Mail this to Kevin Butler, Sony's VP of the cold, hard truth. He will send you mail the following day which will be in your mailbox. Open the one marked "Triangle", shred the one marked "Square", burn the one marked "Circle", and put the one marked "X" in your back left pocket. IT MUST BE YOUR BACK LEFT POCKET! The "Triangle" will contain directions to the nearest manhole and a map through the sewers. If you follow the instructions exactly, you'll end up at Sony HQ. Climb up the ladder and then go through the seventh door on the left. Take the mail out and give it to the guard. If you reach for anything but your back left pocket he WILL kill you.
When given, he'll lead you to the Grand Master's Room, where you'll receive a free XBOX 360 as an apology that you were convinced to buy a PS3.
